Thursday, March 6, 2014

Total Truth Thursdays | Marriage: A Single's Perspective

Blogging is hard and writer's block is real.

Now, that I have those truths out the way, I want to introduce the very first "link up" I've decided to participate in - Total Truth Thursdays. I'm still not quite sure how the whole "link up" thing works, but I stumbled upon this at Hey Kelsea Rae and decided to throw caution to the wind.

If you want more information about this link-up and the dates/topics click the button at the bottom of this post.

As the subject of this post indicates, the first topic is marriage. Let me start by saying that I am not married nor by any rational assessment of my current situation close to becoming anyone's Mrs.. Because of that, I decided to look at this topic from my stance on marriage (as a single woman) and the role marriage plays in my life overall.

Candidly speaking, marriage is a goal of mine (watches as any potential suitor of mine runs for the hills). It was only recent, in the last year or so, that I realized how much of a goal it really was. I use the word goal purposely, as it's something I'm working towards. However, I do want to make clear it's not a challenge or something that I take lightly. I say it's a goal, because like any other goal I have I am working towards it and preparing myself for the opportunity. I just don't know what, or in this case who, I'm preparing for (wouldn't that make life so much easier).

The bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22)." Quickly, I think this is another one of those male ego booster things, because I'm quite positive I'll find him first and then have to wait for him to see the light. Anywho, if you read my post the other day, I talked about my views on womanhood and what being a woman means to me. As mentioned there, gender roles and the purpose of them have been skewed by society. I feel that the role of a woman is to take care of her family. Whereas a man is supposed to support his family. Over time, maybe in part due to the repetitive roles women and men assumed in society, people have equated "taking care" with domestic responsibilities and "support" with finances and stability.

To me, the words can be interpreted however as long as the interpretation works for that family unit. Taking care of one household may mean a woman needs to carry the financial burden while her husband continues education. For another household, the husband may need to "support" his wife's desire to maintain her career and be a stay at home dad. I think the definition of what it means to take care of someone or support a person has always been a constant, it's just how it plays out is what's flexible.

Unfortunately, marriage has loss it's value in society. I think that's partially due to the casual manner in which it's approached - also the stigmas that have been attached to it. I am a product of divorce, so I didn't grow up in a household that's helped to shape my ideals on marriage. But, I've witnessed (mainly in media) a lot of power couples. Besides the success and money, what I've always wanted and admired was how much of a team dynamic they seemed to have.

As I've been dating, I have come to the decision that all the dating I do is in preparation of finding my husband - my partner in crime, the person that balances me.  I have a sincere belief that life is not a journey intended to be experienced alone. I have things right and wrong with me, but so will my furture husband. For me, the puzzle is finding the person whose wrongs are my rights and vice versa. This obviously complicates the dating game for me, but having marriage in mind as my goal does help the process.

Tune in next Thursday, the topic is fashion.


  1. So good!! loved reading your thoughts on marriage and I completely agree with you. I felt the same way before I found my now husband. Enjoy the ride, it is so much fun when you are honest with yourself and your heart. :)

    1. Aw, that gives me assurance that I'm going down the right path. Thanks for commenting :)

  2. I love that you wrote about this and from such a wonderful perspective! I agree with you, different roles might work for different situations. I think to just throw a blanket statement out about what everyone SHOULD be doing is harmful, not helpful. I think it's important to be defined in Christ, not a relationship or a person, and I love your introspection on personal growth even while waiting! Thanks so much for linking up- I'm so happy to have you along with us in this journey!

    1. Thanks for commenting. Happy to be a part of the journey. Looking forward to next Thursday!

  3. Hi! Stopping by from the linkup. Great perspective on this topic! I think it's good to be preparing yourself for your future husband. I do think the family unit can look differently to different situations. Great point!